So I'll write a new one today to keep you updated on what happened this week. I've been pretty hormonal lately. You're going to laugh.
on Monday, I decided to skip psychology cause I wasn't feeling so hott..I was tired, & nauseous, & just feeling terrible. So I got home, & I was feeling extra angry today. So I do what I usually do when I'm angry: take my frustration out on Steve. He was playing gay world of warcraft, & I just came into the office & immediately said, "you're such a loser! I should've known you would be on here!" & stormed off into the living room. He basically came out & yelled at me for calling him a loser, & kept telling me he doesn't play "that much." & went back in the office to play his game some more. So I went into crazy lady hormone mode & started packing my stuff. I was determined to move back home like...that second! He didn't realize what I was doing because he was so absorbed in his game. I finally calmed down, & my hormones changed from angry to uh..."I want sex now" so I came in & gave him a few hints (which he totally ignored!) & then he yelled at me for bothering him! So then I had my hormones shift from "sex!" to really sad. I was sitting on the couch trying not to cry, just minding my own business...All of a sudden, my cat Littles JUMPS on my face & scratches me! I had two big swollen scratches down my face & neck! I had another hormone shift from sad to "MORE PISSED OFF THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE!" I was determined to kick Littles out of our family that instant! I jumped off the couch & started chasing her until I could get ahold of her..I still didn't know what I was going to do to her when I did..but I was going to do something! I finally cornered her in the bedroom, yelling every swear word in the book at her, & I grabbed her by the fur, & chucked her outside! I just picked a fight with my cat! I continued to yell at her before I slammed the door in her face, & Steve came out to try to calm me down...I was screaming & crying, & he was just sitting there like, "what the fuck has gotten into you?" So he let Littles inside, & I ran into the bedroom & tried to take a nap...& I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, I devised a master plan to move back to Elmira. I had everything mapped out! I wanted to leave THAT SECOND. So once Steve got home, Jason came in to play fable II & I brought up how badly I wanted to leave in front of Jason...which neither Steve or Jason knew it was hormones talking..So Steve was pretty mad at me for the next day. I kept going on walks & taking off on him because I was so pissed off for no reason. Poor guy.
So he ended up doing the un-thinkable: HE CANCELED HIS WORLD OF WARCRAFT ACCOUNT! I was jumping for joy! I was so happy I would finally get to spend more time with him! --but I came to find out that he was just moping around...I guess I couldn't make him happy. I called my Madre the next morning to tell her what happened & the first thing she said was "Beck, you got it bad!" & of course I asked, "I got what bad?" & she said, "Your hormones!" haha. So she talked to me & calmed me down. So, I ended up apologizing, & he ended up getting world of warcraft back...& now we're in the same vicious cycle all over again.
So that pretty much sums up my week. I've been having horrible mood swings. & they really are beyond my control..I could never control them on my period either..but this is like..times 10! I'm a whole different person sometimes...I'm...slutty now. hahaha. & when I'm angry I act just like my madre! I told myself I would never have a temper like her, but I do! I'm the spitting image! Poor Steve. He just puts up with it. haha. He has no choice
OKAY so anyway, besides the mood swings...uh..did I mention I felt the baby kick finally? Last Friday to be exact! I always get kicked when I wake up, & after I eat. They're not strong kicks..it just feels like popcorn popping sometimes, or someone poking me with a q-tip from the inside. But it's definitely been getting stronger. I don't know how some girls say they can't feel it until like 16 weeks! I definitely know it's the baby! I guess I'm just in tune with my body. hehe.
So, while we're on the subject, (well, not EXACTLY on the subject...) Steve just found out he's getting deployed to Iraq in July. GREAT. I'm definitely going to have one of my sisters move out here with me to help me out for 4 months. Hopefully we'll have a house by then! I decided I want a trampoline, & one of those $500 pools you set up yourself for the backyard. haha. --ANYWAY, yeah. I'm sad, but happy....
deployment pay = YAY.
Steve being gone, & leaving me with a baby = FUCK.
But I'm going to go now.
I'll write next week sometime!
later!
- EDIT - more bad news. I just found out my dad has pneumonia, & he's refusing to go to the hospital
he's afraid they'll make him stay for like a month or something. ugh. He needs to go! But I do have some good news: April is in labor! yay! I heard from her about 4 hours ago...she was 4 cm dilated, & her water was starting to break! I don't quite know what's going on right now..she better be pushing or something
But I'm going to visit her tomorrow...& bring her & Ryan some Arby's because the closest one is in Roseville where her hospital happens to be. hahaha. I haven't had Arby's in 6 months. --Oh, & I can't wait to meet little Scott! yay!
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